Tuesday, June 23, 2009


It's hard to believe I have been home with Miya for close to 3 months now. Each month has looked very different from the last. The first month was the hardest in terms of adjusting to the new job as Mommy, but also the funnest because I just couldn't get over the fact that little Miya was ours and how much I loved her! Then the second was the most challenging because Miya's fussiness really peaked at that point and I felt so discouraged as I tried to care for her with no reciprocation and no clue what was causing the fussiness! The third month has been trying in terms of figuring out how to balance the role of both Mommy and wife. Now that being a Mom isn't quite so "new" (and I am getting more sleep at night ;)) I can tend to battle with how to juggle the new with the old. But by God's grace I am learning. Then to throw one more factor into the mix I will be going back to work more than likely 2 half days a week, which will be another big adjustment. Thankfully it doesn't take much to keep my license, but I have to admit the idea of leaving miya for even just a few hours a week is a sad one for me, I LOVE getting to spend my days with her! But I know this is just a season and eventually I will be looking into a different nursing position where I can perhaps work one shift every other week in the evening so Lew can watch her and I can still be with her during the day.

Something God has been reminding me lately is that even though I am staying at home, being a mommy to Miya and wife to Lew is my job, and it's by no means an easy one (even though I enjoy it so!) I sometimes forget that it's a job, but it is, and it's the job God has ordained for me! I was reading this excerpt from Keep a Quiet Heart from Elisabeth Elliot and it really encouraged me:

Wouldn't it make and astounding difference, not only in the quality of the work we do (in office, schoolroom, factory, kitchen, or backyard), but also in our satisfaction, even our joy, if we recognized God's gracious gift in every single task, from making a bed or bathing a baby to drawing a blueprint or selling a computer? If our children saw us doing "heartily as unto the Lord" all the work we do, they would learn true happiness. Instead of feeling that they must be allowed to do what they like, they would learn to like what they do.

St. Ignatius Loyola prayed, "Teach us, Good Lord, to labor and to ask for no reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will." As I learn to pray that prayer, I find that there are many more rewards that come along as fringe benefits. As we make an offering of our work, we find the truth of a principle Jesus taught: Fulfillment is not a goal to achieve, but always the by-product of sacrifice.
That last line is the one I want to remember, in fact I may post it in Miya's nursery so I see it when she decides to wake up at 3am to eat (a habit she had cut out but has now decided to reintroduce, fun times!) I can get so caught up in the busyness and can tend to only see the ordinary mundane tasks...but I forget how spectacular it is that I get to be this sweet girls Mommy, and that I get to have this loving man as my husband. I can be so blind sometimes to how TRULY blessed I am. I really want to grow in laying down my life for these 2 God has given as my family so I can know true fulfillment! I am quickly learning that there is no fulfillment in living for yourself.

1 comment:

Mrs. Ellis said...

What a great post and you are such a joy to my heart, Laura!!!!!