23 Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who
believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears,
“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24)
I am reading through Mark right now and as I read this passage on Sunday I thought about how I've often used it when caring for friends. As I was praying through the passage I felt God's Spirit asking to me to examine my own heart for unbelief. Knowing the truth of Scripture so well and who God is I don't typically find myself struggling with unbelief. Just because there is no struggle does not mean that unbelief is not present. I began to pray Psalm 139 and ask God to search me and know my heart, test for me any anxiety and lead me back to home.
Later on that afternoon as I was spending time with Laura's family God graciously revealed an area of unbelief in my life. When I was talking to Laura's dad and her brother Jeremy about job opportunities I mentioned to them the job that I had applied for with Lanmark Technologies and that I felt in faith for God to work. A little bit later on as I was talking to the whole family about my job prospects I thought mentioning Lanmark Technologies and then the thought popped into my head, "how many other jobs have you felt in faith for or thought would be great and nothing panned out." I ended up not mentioning the job I applied for and in that moment I stopped believing in God's faithfulness to me and never ending provision of a career. I took my eyes off of the eternal hope I have and let my circumstances control my worldview.
What a great hope that I have that God's faithfulness is not dependent on my trust. I am so thankful that even when I take my eyes off of Him He remains steadfast in caring for me. I can never come before the cross enough and see the greatest act of love and be reminded that of God will do that for me then how can He not do all else. He is my solid rock amidst all uncertainties and what I cling to in all circumstances. My belief is never in myself because I am a total goober, but my belief for any good lies in the One who defines good.