Thursday, May 25, 2006

Romance in practice

On my old blog people would request that I'd write more personal entries, for all the people reading and wishing for more of a glimpse of my personal life, here you go.

I want to regularly write about our dates, present and past because we've had some fun dates that I haven't made time to share with others about.

This entry is about a really fun double date that we did with our friends Hector and Kat last Friday. I've only hung out with Hector a handful of times, but whenever I do, I always come away from it thinking, "gosh, I want to hang out with Hector more often."

The evening started out at California Pizza Kitchen where the four of us enjoyed a meal and then us guys presented the ladies with a mission. I reached into my bag and pulled out an envelope and said, "Ok ladies, we have a mission for you. If you choose to accept, this mission involves three locations, three clues and three blessings. Each clue will lead you to a location that will have a blessing." The girls accepted the mission, but almost cancelled the mission when they found out they couldn't take us with them.

The first clue led them to Starbucks where we had a $10 dollar gift card waiting for them. After Starbucks the next clue led them to the Christian Bookstore where when we left the clue and we also left them gifts, a CD for Laura and a book for Kat. The last clue led them to Lake Whetstone where we were. Contrary to popular belief, we were not the blessing at Lake Whetstone, but we took them back to Hector's place and made dessert. I made chocolate covered strawberries and Hector made a passion fruit custard thingy. Oh yeah buddy!

Back at Hector's place we played "Settler's Of Catan." Before playing the game we had a good time of fellowship talking about conflict and communication. There may be a future post to come about this game because it truly is one of our favorites.

I am always marveled by the different way that guys and girls communicate. It's something that is cultivated from childhood. Girls are very relational where as guys are very object and task oriented. Girls grew up playing with dolls and having tea party with the purpose of relationship building. Guys on the other hand had army men with the purpose of accomplishment and destruction of the enemy. How does this practically play out in everyday life? Laura may come to tell me something wanting me to listen where as I am in seek and destroy mode and I am ready to draw her out and ask, "what lie are you believing? what does the cross say about this? who are you going to be accountable to?"

Statistically women use twice as many words per day as men. That makes sense, men solve the problem, task accomplished and no more need to communicate. Due to a woman's relational nature, it doesn't matter if a problem is solved, but communication is part of who they are and something all of us men can grow in to show care. Men and women are wonderfully different and there is so much we can learn from one another. Communication should never be about problem solving, but about care and showing affection. Solving a problem can be part of communication, but should never be the goal, the goal should be saying, "I am there for you." Part of this involves growing in being comfortable with silence, something I can definitely grow in, knowing that I am not called to always solve the problem.


Anonymous said...

kate e said...
I love that game! I want to buy it, but I haven't been able to find it any cheaper than about $40, even on ebay.
That sounds like a really fun date. I hope I get to meet your fiance/wife someday.

Anonymous said...

kate e said...
I just thought of a question. Does Laura ever call you by your "real" name, which I shall not mention here? I was just curious.

Lew said...

Hey Kate,
I forget how much I paid for it, but I want to say not that much. I remember I bought it at some booth at the mall during Christmas time. Check this out though,8,235/Name/Settlers_of_Catan

It seems like you can get it for $22 from that website. Yeah, it would rock if you and Brannan could meet Laura, she is a great gal!

There is the rare occasion that she calls me by my first name, but we have pet names that we often use for each other. It's usually around my parents that she calls me by my "real" name since my mom is a fan of that name.

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